Happy Thanksgiving

I was on food shopping duty last night.  I had to get this and that for the big dinner today, and I also had to go and buy three bottles of wine.  It was such a strange feeling, looking for the wine.  I've been to many bars since quitting drinking and it has not been a problem.  People drinking in front of me saying "aw, geez sorry man" thinking that it is eating away at me, but it is not.

But picking up a bottle of Pinot Noir or Cabernet, holding it and looking at it, I somehow visualize drinking it so much more clearly.  Suddenly the thought of how thin the wall between drinking and not drinking really is became evident.  There is nothing stopping me from buying it and walking out of there, cracking it open and drinking it.

I remember it was a few Thanksgivings ago when I was hungover from partying the night before.  I hardly had any food and I really didn't feel well.  How embarrassing.  But that is the thing about drinking: you can drink the exact same way two different times and get a different outcome.  One time you will wake up and feel fine, another time you will have a splitting headache and feel nauseous.  Those are the times when your wife will chastise you for not knowing your limits.  The truth is, we don't know because our limits are always moving about on us.

Be honest and tell me there hasn't been one time when you have only two or three drinks and still wake up feeling like crap, and at least one time when you have 8 or 9 drinks and wake up feeling like a brand new person?  I know there are all the theories - liquor then beer, in the clear, beer then liquor, never been sicker.  The world you are in when you start applying that math has little reason to it anyways, its no wonder the hangovers have no reason to them as well.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  Take a moment to forget your struggles and worries and think of at least three things you are thankful for.  They don't have to be big things, sometimes the smaller things bring us the most happiness.  Like a small shot of whiskey.  Just kidding.

Snow

We had our first snow this weekend, pretty much the first time we've seen snow since March, making this the longest summer I have ever seen here in Minnesota.  Audra and I spent some time shopping today and went through some Christmas displays.  As I go through them I think of all the past Christmases and holiday seasons gone by and how warm the memories are even though the events were in the cold winter.

Drinking events typical to any holiday season November 25 - January 1:
Night before Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Day
Various friend's Holiday parties (or our own)
Audra's Work holiday party
Christmas Eve
Christmas Day Night
New Years Eve
New Years Day (Lithuanian Style New Years)

I'm not saying these are all heavy drinking events - just times when Alcohol is served and consumed by me without fail over the last 10 years or so.  Thats 8 confirmed drinking episodes in 5 weeks that I will be skipping out on this year.  As I like to look at it - 8 confirmed hangovers avoided:)

Things are going well otherwise.  I am officially into the point where friends have accepted the sobriety.  I made mention of drinking to a friend at work, and he misunderstood me to think I was planning on giving up.  He really perked up and told me not drink - to go through with my year.  I had no intention of drinking, but it was neat to see a friend go from wondering why I am doing this to rooting for my success.

Thanks again to all those who periodically tune in to this, I promise, I have more interesting posts in mind that I am working on!

About Two Months In

I know I said I would write about drinking games, but screw it, its been a tough couple of weeks and I guess I am in the mood to write whatever I feel like instead.  It's amazing, I have found, how cracking a bottle of root beer can feel very much the same as cracking an actual beer.  The feel of the bottle in your hand, the sound that taking the cap off makes.  Heck, the sound of chucking it into the trash when you finish it and crack a second one - all psychological things that seem to reward your brain in some strange way, just like alcohol did.

I actually dislike discovering those things, because they make me feel like our brains are simpler than they are, you know?  Like knowing that you can train yourself to drool on command like Pavlov's dog, I don't like knowing that about people, especially not about myself.

I think philosophers then distinguish the mind and the soul as two completely separate entities, and I agree with that. It seems to me, the "soul" is something that is apparently tormented and shackled by the weaker "mind" which is the part of you that wants to stay up late playing video games to reward itself with dopamine.

I suppose the nice thing about knowing the distinction is that I can then begin to train my "mind" so that it eventually brings my "soul" to where it can grow and flourish.  I know that the body is the vessel that carries the mind and soul around, but what then is the "spirit"?  (mind, body, spirit, soul, right?)

Oh well, happy two months in:) Ten to go...