Reason 5: Growth

I've already touched on a lot of growth opportunities.  My wife, Audra, is from Lithuania by the way.  You will hear more about her later.  What I mean by growth here is more about wisdom.  A long time ago I came up with an idea that I called "structured wisdom".  People can take college classes in high school to learn more ahead of the rest of the class, they can get advanced degrees to get promoted ahead of their peers, but all the while, it seems people only acquire wisdom with time and experience - and some do not even do that.

So, if people can be oblivious and go their lives without gaining wisdom, it seems logical that I can speed up the process as well.  One way is by purposefully putting myself in situations that wise people tell you to avoid, "lest you learn the hard way".  Also, you have to listen to what wise people say, and watch what they do.  Remember, I said wise - not old.  Wise people often have tempered souls from going through years of trying times.  If you go a few years without having trying times, you will get soft (Rocky 3).

I expect that going a year without drinking will be difficult for me, but will not harm me, and so, it will "build character" so to speak.  Think of it as preventative maintenance on my soul, like a regular oil change on my car.  If I regularly subject myself to challenging situations in a somewhat controlled environment, when I am faced with real challenges, real hardships, my soul will be that much more prepared to deal with it.

I could go on with reasons, but that will be it for now.  I hope that at least one if these reasons made sense to the world.  Next I will move to the five greatest challenges I foresee.  Remember, I am committed to this year, but I have been committed before - and there is a reason I started drinking again the past three times.  I may not make it...

Reason 4: Freedom

I socialize a lot. This summer has been so full of parties and BBQ’s, that I am exhausted and actually can’t wait for autumn. Sadly, this summer we also lost mom to ovarian cancer. I remember being at parties as mom’s health began to decline, thinking that I would have to get a taxi if something happened, because I am unable to drive. I hated that feeling.


The ability to drive anywhere on social nights out on the town without fear is very empowering. Combined with the money you save, you can triple the amount of things you can do. Before I would be locked in to going somewhere within walking distance, now I can drive from a jazz band in St. Paul to a piano bar in Minneapolis in the same evening.


I mentioned things like going to the gym, running, or learning a foreign language and you may be thinking “yeah right, we’ll see about that.” I agree with you, just because I’m not drinking doesn’t mean I suddenly have the motivation to work out three times a week. But before the alcohol was preventing me, and now I will at least have the option to do so.


In a smaller sense, freedom means free from something that was in control of me. When I think of why I have to wait until labor day to quit drinking, it’s because I thought, well, I will HAVE to drink on my 30th birthday. If you know me, you know I like to be in control of myself (and sometimes more than that). Drinking was fine until I started realizing it was something I felt I had to do. Then, in standard Wes Whalberg defiance, I decided to tell drinking it had no control over me, and to get out of my life.

Reason 3: Health

Doing this from my phone in Pittsburgh is tough, so I'll be brief. The heaviest drinking years for me were freshmen and sophomore year of college, and second heaviest were the year after undergrad when all my friends turned 21.

I do the math on the binge drinking, and it would seem I've "gotten sick" in the neighborhood of 250 times. That's probably 20 times more than an average non-drinker, and isn't good for your teeth, throat, or stomach. I know many people don't get sick when they drink a lot. I do. If you black out, that's even worse.

In a different view, I don't sleep as well after 3 or more drinks.  I think I do but i don't, and that leads to more coffee during the day which also hurts sleep.  More sleep will help me stay feeling younger longer.

Finally, I mentioned exercise before as a result of having more time, but exercise is even more possible if I'm not drinking.  I've never been able to have three beers at happy hour, then go home and jog three miles.  Now I'll be able to get into a better routine.

A typical week (not atypical)

I’ll continue with the reasons tomorrow, but I wanted fill the world in a little more with how my life is set up. You see, another comment I get a lot is something like “Why don’t you just have a couple?” or “You could just drink on special occasions…” Let me answer that by outlining my week.


Friday (8/20): Cast party after final show with old friends. 4 beers.

Saturday: End of summer barbecue at Chad’s house. Eric is there and I haven’t hung with him in far too long. 2 Guinness, 3 Summer Shandy’s, and 2 Heineken's, plus 3 shots of a Lithuanian berry vodka he brought from his trip out there.

Sunday: 4 glasses of wine watching an interesting documentary while Audra studied for her CPA exam.

Monday: Glass of Sangria with Dad followed by two Budweiser’s at home. No big deal.

Tuesday: Two pre-movie beers before watching Scott Pilgrim vs. The World with Chad, followed by two glasses of Pinot Noir with Adam, who I haven’t seen since graduation, and who picked up the tab.

Prediction for Tonight: Audra found out she passed another CPA exam AND she is taking her third exam tonight. I believe we will either celebrate with a bottle of champagne, a bottle of wine, or both. (Assume 4 drinks)

Prediction for Thursday: Traveling to Pittsburgh, meeting up with good friends for a Saturday wedding. Assume at least three drinks at the bar.

Prediction for Friday: Assuming we don’t want to be hung over for the wedding, I predict a glass or two of wine at the dinner after the rehearsal. Possibly one or two beers at the hotel bar with friends after (Assume 4 drinks)

Prediction for Saturday: Wedding and my 30th Birthday. Forget it, champagne toast, wine with dinner, reception drinks, after bar toasts to my own 30th birthday, I predict 10 drinks at least.

Ok, so that’s 8 days: 46 drinks (at least). An average of almost 6 drinks a day. Yes there are a few random beers that could have easily been cut out, but other than that, I feel like I have to pick and choose who I am drinking with and who I’m not. The cast party could have been cut, and going without the wine with dad would have been fine. The BBQ would have been a tougher sell – as would meeting with Adam. The wedding would be a really tough sell, and especially my 30th birthday.

Think this is an atypical week? I have a lot of circles of friends, a lot of them are from other cultures where drinking is more pronounced than it is here. This summer has been full of special events that warrant a bottle of wine be brought and opened. But I’m not addicted… right? I mean, I always have liquor left in the house and I choose to not drink all the time. I could have had more last night before going to bed, but I didn’t. I believe this mass consumption is a function of the life I’ve built around myself, and I have the power to adjust it.

Reason 2: Time

It's funny, when I announce these plans some of the first comments I get are from women who have had children.  They say, "it's easy, I went nine months no problem" or "My guy was waiting with a six pack after the delivery, I couldn't wait to have a beer:)".  Of course if I had a child inside me that would be harmed by my drinking, I'd like to think it would be easier.  Particularly, you wouldn't have a ton of people offering you drinks everywhere you go.  In fact, it would be the opposite.  Anyone seeing you drinking while pregnant would probably try to take the drink away (one would hope).  I'm not trying to offend anyone who has had a child, no doubt quitting drinking was at least somewhat challenging anyway, and I don't want to dismiss that.  I will have a different experience is all.  I will go deeper into challenges next week.

So, about Time...  Drinking heavy on a Friday night throws off your Saturday.  Drinking heavy on a Saturday night throws off your Sunday and usually sneaks into your workweek as well.  Because you either sleep in late on Sunday or wake up so early hungover that you take a nap Sunday afternoon, you don't get the right sleep Sunday night for a proper Monday morning.

But there are subtler things going on too.  I can function in some capacity with three beers - I can work on a presentation, I can read, or I can research online, that sort of thing.  But chances are I am not going to go for a jog or tackle anything heavy or complicated after a few beers.  It usually ends up being the wind down of the evening.  Little things don't get done during the week, so they take up my weekend.

The first thing you will notice about not drinking through the first weekend is how much longer it feels.  You may fill that time with whatever you want, but I plan to use it to handle some of the areas and activities I have been wanting to do but felt I never had time.  Combined with the money saved (previous post) this could mean boxing lessons, piano lessons, or Lithuanian lessons.  It could also mean nothing at all, but the time will be there now where before it was not.

My 5 Reasons - Reason 1: Money

With fifteen days left I think I will post about my 5 main reasons for doing this and my 5 biggest foreseeable challenges, given the previous experience I’ve had.

Let’s face it, drinking is expensive.  I tracked all of my finances for two months last summer – every single penny.  I found that after my mortgage and food, alcohol was the next largest expense.  I challenge you to try the same thing and see what you come up with.  Do you want to guess what the next biggest expense was?  Gifts!  That’s right, at a time when I was supposed to be ‘pinching pennies’, I had given away almost 200 dollars in stuff to people for birthdays, weddings, housewarmings, etc.

Drinking out of the house is far more expensive than drinking at home, obviously.  Another negative to drinking out is the chance that you will go over the edge and start buying shots or rounds for people, sometimes people you don’t even know.  But even drinking at home isn’t cheap.  My wife and I will split a bottle of cheap wine for 6 bucks, or a 6 pack for the same price.  You trick yourself into saying that it’s only 3 bucks a person, which it is, but in my relationship 9 times out of 10 if I don’t spring for the wine or beer, she'll be just fine without it.  If you do this 15 times a month, you still hit 100 dollars – so that is a minimum.  Because we don’t always drink cheap beer, cheap wine, and we certainly don’t always stay at home.  I have never been hit with a DWI, and I do not drive drunk.  But in MN, you don’t have to be drunk, you just need 3 beers in your system to get a DWI, and that is going to cost you dearly.  Tail light out?  Been drinkin?  Whoops, here comes a $5,000 fine.

I am in a saving mode right now, at least I will be after Labor Day, because I just got done with two years out of work back at school.  I plan to start a family in the next year or so, and a number of other things. I can’t justify the substantial expense that comes with this activity. 

Hello World!

I will start by saying that I am not an alcoholic.  I want the world to understand that alcoholics who try to fight their addiction and are able to overcome it have my utmost respect.  I am not claiming to be one, and therefore I will not compare myself or my situation to that of an actual alcoholic.

That being said, I am also certainly not the kind of person who rarely drinks.  Since sometime around March it is safe to say that I have only experienced 4 or 5 days that were completely alcohol free.  Most of the time it is only two or three beers, or a glass or two of wine.  Weekends or holidays it can get to 6-10 drinks in a day.  Then there are the nights that shoot into the teens, and these occur every few weeks or so.

I also want the world to know that I have quit drinking three times before.  The first two times I made it 6 months, and the third time was around 3 months.  Each time I learned more about myself and the world around me, so I plan to share a number of things from those occasions as well.

--Ground Rules--
1.  No drinking means no alcohol, period. This includes difficult situations like New Years Eve, wedding toasts, even celebrating a newborn child.

2. No other drugs.  There are probably things for alcoholics that would serve the same purpose as a "nicotine patch" would for smokers.  I will not be using anything like this either.

Thats all I can think of for rules.  I hope you find this entertaining and educational.  Seeing as how it is only August 22, I think I will pour me some wine.  See you soon.

Wes W. Whalberg