Happy Halloween!!

Halloween has long been one of my favorite holidays.  Everyone should love an excuse to open your imagination and pretend to be someone else for a night.  Halloween 2003 was my first date with my wife Audra - I was dressed as Neo from the Matrix.  I asked her years later if I had chosen to be dressed like a clown or something silly, if we still would have ended up hitting it off that night.  She said probably not.

Halloween had historically been a big drinking night for me as well.  Being dressed like someone else and being drunk gave me a total cop out on reality, as well as everyone around me.  It's odd to think that as I was running around as a child, gathering pounds of candy, that I should have been much more concerned about drunk drivers rather than kidnappers.

I had a really busy week so I will go back to talking about drinking games after this.  A few years ago when I was not drinking I spent Halloween sober, and I actually had a bummer of a time.  I dwelled on that night in particular when evaluating how drinking impacted my behavior/attitude at parties.  I concluded that I was hanging around a lame crowd of people that night.  I never saw any of them again.  The truth is, several Halloweens since had been upset by alcohol.  Complications from not being able to drive, waiting in line to get into bars, looking for cabs - sorts of things that are directly the result of drinking, is what has caused several Halloween nights to end up in shambles, canceling out any benefits the drinking may have initially caused.

Drinking Games

I've been working a lot lately, which is a good thing, however, one thing it makes clear is how much I miss a beer after a long day - like an 11 hour day.  Oh well, the time does fly by once you get to around the two month mark.

I have a friend in her early twenties and who once told me she hardly ever drinks - that she hates the taste of alcohol, and therefore rarely gets drunk, if ever.  I thought about this for a while and drew some conclusions about myself and my own drinking.  Of course I didn't like the taste of alcohol either when I first tried it.  Beer, wine, liquor, everything tasted terrible.  The only way me and my friends could think of touching the stuff is by making a competition out of it.

We played drinking games to get as much alcohol into our bodies as quickly as possible.  This method of harsh conditioning is what eventually led to sipping on a beer while playing the drinking games.  Once we hit that point, it was clear we had entered into a new level of maturity - we no longer drank with the sole intent to get drunk, but as something to do while we did stuff.

I believe that if someone didn't go through pulverizing their body into simply submitting to the taste of booze - at a young age when that ridiculous activity is condoned, then chances are they never will.  This is how you have people who walk around saying "I don't drink because I don't like the taste."

I will go into a couple of the games in the next posts, because who knows, maybe you will like them:)

Innocent Reminder

Had a mild headache last night and woke up with a strong headache this morning.  Trying to think of the cause, and landed on the flu shot I got Friday afternoon mixed with working on the house yesterday upsetting that shoulder and spreading the ache to my neck/head.  Right or wrong about the cause, it reminds me full well of waking up with a hangover from drinking.  I thought I would make the most of it here.

First 20 minutes of a hangover for me: I wake up, and the headache makes me remember the drinks I had that caused it.  Remembering the drinks usually leads to a sick feeling and a sudden rush of guilt or embarrassment as I remember the money that flitted away with the bar tab, or remember anything stupid I did or said through the evening.  I try to think of some genius way to eliminate the hangover, usually imagining that a hot shower ought to do it.  I take one, and find that the hot water will run out long before the hangover does.  I crawl back into bed, unable to find a comfortable position and try to go back to sleep, but rarely do.

By the way, thanks Mark for putting me on to a few other blogs where people are going through the same thing - one from Australia!  I love technology today.  I plan to take time to read through these.  It will take a while, they are more towards the six month point in the journey.

Identifying triggers

I have run across a couple of triggers lately that have made me want to drink.  So yes, to any of you out there who think I am just coasting through this dry spell, think again.  Today I had a relatively stressful day - it was not negative stress, in fact a lot of cool things happened today.  It was like when I used to wait tables on a Sunday and not have a single mistake.  The payoff then, however, was always taking my apron off at the end of the shift and counting my tips.  One, two, three.... oh thats right, ten bucks off that six-top... 121,122, 123, and dang, I start feeling pretty darn good about my day and go home happy.

The problem is, now when I get home there is no money counting, no apron, and the stories are different too.  I used to be able to tell my parents about a terrible table that came in to my section, and I could go into every detail and they would understand.  I could go to my buddies that night and tell the same story, then to my girlfriend and tell it again.  Now I am lucky if there are a handful of people who I could tell my work stories to.

What happened today?  Well, we were trying to find the most efficient way to pendant mount a fixture so that the conveyors don't interfere with.... aw hell, who cares, right?  To much back story to get to a punchline.

What do I mean about all this?  Alcohol is a common language we all speak.  We can all clang glasses to a job well done, be it waiting tables, auditing an account book, designing a circuit board, or selling medical supplies to distributors.  Perfect scene in "Office Space" where Peter and Lawrence are talking about "The case of the Mondays" - both havin a beer after a rough day, totally different careers.

Thanks for listening, by the way, I am happy to see I have an audience:)

How to not drink at a party:

I have been through a few parties since I stopped drinking, and I have picked up a few nuggets for anyone who would like to try the same thing.  This post, again, applies to someone who normally drinks at parties.

1. Don't make a deal out of it.  Other than to a few choice friends, I try not to burst into a party exclaiming that I am not drinking.  Don't worry, people will find out.  Someone, usually the host, will offer you a drink, and you just calmly ask for a soda or water.  If the host takes issue, just say that you are thirsty and want some water right now.  (I'm not saying the host is mean or anything, but for a guy like me, not accepting a beer would sound strange.)  After that initial dodge, he/she will be on to hosting the party and forget about you.  I don't want to be dishonest here, but I also don't want to cause a scene the minute I walk into the room.

2. I learned this from my friend Myke - if there is a champagne toast, take the champagne flute, and toast with everyone, cling your glass, then set it down on the table.  When things calm down, ask the person next to you if they want it.  Most likely they will accept without question, as champagne goes down fast and its nice to have two.

3. Once people start to notice and ask why you aren't drinking tonight, be prepared to say "I'm taking a break from it."  Never say "I quit drinking" because people get frazzled.  Don't lie and say you have to get up early, you have to drive, or you are still hungover from the night before.  People will give valid reasons why that is no excuse from not drinking, and it isn't the truth anyway.

4. Take notice of how people are behaving, this may be the first and last time in years that you not drink at a party.  I'm not saying to look for good or bad or anything, but just appreciate what the party is like sober, and take note of anything that jumps out at you.

One down, Eleven to go

Hard to believe a month has gone by already.  I would assume that one whole month without a drink is a stretch for all but the lightest drinkers, but I don't know that.  What I do know is that the thought of having a drink still stays on the front of my mind more often than I would like.

I have also noticed my garbage can does not fill up nearly as much..  I am a catalyst in the house - if I don't drink, Audra and Gabriele don't drink (as much) and Steve (Gabriele's boyfriend) doesn't drink as much (here).  So my garbage has been spared one month - I imagine roughly 12 bottles of wine, 96 bottles of beer, and a bottle or so of vodka between the four of us.

One month assessment: I am sleeping better, I have not gained or lost an ounce of weight, nor have I learned the piano, lithuanian, or written a stand-up comedy act.  I have begun a minor workout routine, but nothing to brag about.

Miss the most? The taste of a beer while leaning against my birch tree in the backyard after a good day of work.

Miss the least? The tab.

Back To Taylors Falls

This is a short documentary of my first drinking experience.  To all my buds who were there, I tried to do this justice, but had to cut so many different events to keep this video at 10 minutes.  It was hard to not get lost in the details.  Only about one third of what we went through that weekend is covered on this video. (by the way, hover over 360p and chose 720pHD if you want to watch in high def, but it may take a while to buffer)

I can see now that drinking entered into my life as a very positive experience, which may be a part of why it became so prominent in my life afterwards.  Perhaps subconsciously every drinking experience was an attempt to recreate this first one.

Forgive me if it gets too touchy-feely, but this place to me represents my growing up, where memories before this trip seem like when I was a little kid, and memories after seem like when I was more of a young man.

Coming up on one month sober.  More on that next post.