I have been through a few parties since I stopped drinking, and I have picked up a few nuggets for anyone who would like to try the same thing. This post, again, applies to someone who normally drinks at parties.
1. Don't make a deal out of it. Other than to a few choice friends, I try not to burst into a party exclaiming that I am not drinking. Don't worry, people will find out. Someone, usually the host, will offer you a drink, and you just calmly ask for a soda or water. If the host takes issue, just say that you are thirsty and want some water right now. (I'm not saying the host is mean or anything, but for a guy like me, not accepting a beer would sound strange.) After that initial dodge, he/she will be on to hosting the party and forget about you. I don't want to be dishonest here, but I also don't want to cause a scene the minute I walk into the room.
2. I learned this from my friend Myke - if there is a champagne toast, take the champagne flute, and toast with everyone, cling your glass, then set it down on the table. When things calm down, ask the person next to you if they want it. Most likely they will accept without question, as champagne goes down fast and its nice to have two.
3. Once people start to notice and ask why you aren't drinking tonight, be prepared to say "I'm taking a break from it." Never say "I quit drinking" because people get frazzled. Don't lie and say you have to get up early, you have to drive, or you are still hungover from the night before. People will give valid reasons why that is no excuse from not drinking, and it isn't the truth anyway.
4. Take notice of how people are behaving, this may be the first and last time in years that you not drink at a party. I'm not saying to look for good or bad or anything, but just appreciate what the party is like sober, and take note of anything that jumps out at you.
Good tips. I would also add, keep a glass of water or soda or anything in your hand. Refill before it's less than half full. This keeps people from offering to grab you a drink or worrying that you aren't enjoying yourself.
ReplyDeleteOr you can fill it when it's more than half empty.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely agree that you should never give temporary reasons. Not even if they are true. Though I didn't say 'I'm on a break'. When people asked 'aren't you drinking'? I'd say 'not tonight'. I didn't want to have to answer the next question "on a break...why?" And then have to explain it in front of other people who are going to give you more trouble. I was always ready for the response "what about tomorrow" or "what about next time"? But it never happened. Saying not tonight always seemed to be enough.
But saying you have a hangover, or aren't feeling well, or you are studying for something will only get you by for that night. It only delays the inevitable, and makes it harder next time. "Let's see, last time you were sick, now you have to study...what else? Now you tell me you are taking a break?".
Having something in your hand definitely does help. Even if it is a glass of water. People tend to notice you standing there with your hands dangling or in your pockets. Hold some sort of beverage. They are less likely to offer you more beverage when you already have some.
The toast idea works too. The idea is you are clinging glasses as a toast to something, not saluting alcohol. It looks disrespectful if you sit there and not participate. Like not shaking someone's hand who has their hand out. Even use an empty glass if you have to. I did after my best man speech at my brother's wedding and no one noticed (though it was more of an accident that it was empty). Course there's always Batman and the Joker's method...
Hi there!
ReplyDeleteI'm from Australia and currently trying to cut right back on my drinking.
I took a bottle of Edenvale Shiraz to a housewarming last week, it's alcohol removed, a little sweet but rather like a light Italian table red. It also has around 1/5 the calories of regular wine.
It really got me through the evening.
I am also awaiting a shipment from here -> http://www.nonalcwines.com.au/
Keep up the good work mate!