For all of the perceived benefits I listed of not drinking, strangely, I have not been able to kick the habit. Why not? Well, the first demon you must slay is the illusion that you have in fact mastered alcohol, and swear you will never subject yourself to the habitual drinking that your younger "stupider" self did. "I may have one or two once in a while, but I don't plan to start drinking every day again, or drinking heavily ever again...."
After six months of not drinking, I figured I must not be addicted, and allowed myself to have a beer. All the benefits I listed above had become old news to me, that is, my budget had adjusted to include the money saved from not drinking, the sober cab idea had become the status quo, and I no longer felt like the alcohol had a hold on me, so how bad could it be to have one or two drinks?
Inside of a month it was back to normal - and friends that had gone without me as a drinkin buddy welcomed me back with open arms. I remember the first time I had a hangover after going so long without one. I cried, actually, how stupid I was to go back and waste my saturday in bed feeling like this, but it was too late, everyone knew I was drinking again, and to go around to everyone and tell them it was just a temporary relapse seemed more than my personality could handle at the time. So I conceded, and that leads me directly to my next enemy...
To quote scripture is as good as it gets. It is the word of God to man. And although it is not all to us, it is all for us.(Think about that..)
ReplyDelete"A dog will always return to his own vomit."
Be aware of impulse, your smart, be sensitive to this and ask for Gods help. He will help.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not onto your own understanding, but of every word that is from the Lord.
One day at a time, one moment to the next, is how you swing through this jungle.(Don't get ahead of yourself)
You would be amazed how much God and Christianity played a role in the foundation of AA, the most successful organization at what they do. It still plays a role today and it is what keeps it going. I HIGHLY recommend the book "Living Sober". It's a small, cheap, book (you can get it online for under 5 bucks), but very useful. It lists 30 techniques that various AA members have put together to "live sober".
ReplyDeleteI remember when you got me that book, and I still have it around here, I will have to start reading it again. I don't want my readers to think this is necessarily a religious forum, but to know that God does have a role in this, so I appreciate your comments, both of you. And I know he helps.
ReplyDelete